A few weeks ago, I was at the supermarket purchasing some groceries. I came across a mother and her two kids. The kids were probably around the ages of 8 and maybe 7 years old. I could see that this mother was very frustrated and just ready to leave the store. The two young boys were fighting and yelling and would not listen to anything their mother was saying. She began to use threat of taking away their favorite toys and putting them to bed early if they did not stop. She started to yell at them and threaten to put them in the car if they did not listen. Nothing worked. She became very agitated, but continued to try and get them to stop fighting as she continued to shop. Making threats and yelling was not getting anywhere with this mother.
Can you relate to this mother? Have you ever been in this situation or similar to it? I believe one of the biggest struggles parents face with their own children is the lack of Patience. If you are a parent of a child who is continuously testing the limits of what you ask of them, it can be very challenging. Our automatic thought is the need to keep this child under control. Which can lead to more issues and less patience.
Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
It's definitely work to have patience with your children and be willing to work through the need to not have control over them, but to learn to influence them through building a relationship of trust. What are you doing as parents to work on a stronger relationship with your children? How do you come across to your children? As parents, we need to be able to recognize when we are motivating ourselves and our children through fear. And be able to stop and turn it into motivating through love. Communication is one of the main tools here to apply. Making the time to listen to your kids who need the time to talk with you and making time for the ones who need the time to just be with you and spending time together.
How consistent are you with the things you say you are going to do when it comes to your children?
Consistency means you are willing to do or act upon what you committed to and there is no giving up when things start to become difficult or challenging.
I believe we all have the struggles of being consistent in our daily lives. I know I do. Regardless, of what the situation is, if we are not willing to commit and follow through with what we say we are going to do, we will not see the results we are looking for. Parents who struggle to hold their children accountable or responsible for choices they make in life find themselves giving in to their kids behaviors because of the lack of patience and inconsistency in their efforts to change the way they parent.
I encourage and challenge all parents to follow this equation to building a stronger relationship with your children.
PATIENCE + CONSISTENCY = RESULTS